I was asked recently about staying focused on your own journey when you feel like you’re in competition with your teammates.

A skill my coach has been trying to reinforce in me is not to look at him when he is coaching me. As soon as I turn my head to see if my coach is going to reassure me, my attention is pulled away from the roll. For obvious reasons, this can’t be happening when I’m competing. But why am I so eager to look around the room when I am at practice?

In a combat sport–you are competing at every moment. When sparring, you win or you lose. Given enough time, one athlete or another will come out on top. There is a clear hierarchy in the grappling world. The colors of our belts correspond to our knowledge and skill. But what the rankings cannot convey is each unique path taken by the individuals as they progress through their training.

Rubbernecking Gets You Off-Track

I am constantly searching for validation. Hearing ‘good work!’ and getting praised during training snaps me into action like a puppy waiting for treats when they successfully sit down. I want my coach to see me perfectly executing the technique of the day. As I scan the room, I look toward the higher belts and analyze them in hopes of absorbing some of their secret codes. Meanwhile, that time I spend surveying all the other students, everyone else is getting their reps in. You know, actually practicing and learning the techniques.

When I began studying judo, I came to understand the vast difference that focused repetitions had on my progress. In judo class, I am a complete newbie. I’m not worried about what the other students are up to, because they feel like lightyears ahead of me. I haven’t entered into an unspoken competition with them, the way I have with jiu jitsu. Yet, I was noticing huge improvements in my judo, because I was laser-focused on just figuring out how to do the throws or footwork or grips that felt so foreign to me.

So ultimately, by playing the comparison game, I was stifling my own growth by looking at what everyone else was doing instead of doing it myself. I realized this stemmed from a place of insecurity to my ego. I have a blue belt now, I’m supposed to know this stuff. But I don’t. Or I think I don’t. Maybe if I look around, I’ll see other people struggling? Or if I just see someone else do it again I’ll remember what I’m supposed to do. OK, now I’m overthinking this. Shit, now time is up and we’re moving to the next technique and I hardly even practiced this one.

Give & Take

In the above scenario, you may be wondering… so where was your partner during that whole thing? Our coaches may unlock details behind each technique we learn in class, but we practice the actual implementation of these skills with other students. As classmates, we are each other’s teachers. It’s our responsibility to put in the effort while working together to advance our own abilities; simultaneously nurturing our partner’s growth. We cannot receive a technique as uke without giving adequate resistance or reactions–tori will not be able to correctly complete the lesson. There is no way to forge a path forward in this sport as a solo performer. 

On the other side of the same coin; our teammates play the role of our opponents. The comparison game is unavoidable in the study of grappling–the mission of each sparring match is to defeat our partner. In that respect, is the practice of jiu jitsu a paradox? Is training at a gym simply an ultimate race to become the top athlete? Here’s the fun thing; when you are selfish, and you focus on making yourself the better grappler, you become the better grappling partner. Tell your partner to stop looking around the classroom so you can get the reps in. Then they’ll be getting their own reps in, too. Ask the questions during technique demonstration, and then the whole class learns a detail they might have missed.

Competitive energy among teammates is not necessarily detrimental–I wholeheartedly believe that the best training environments should foster a culture of pushing one another to exceed expectations. The danger lies in becoming distracted while viewing our teammates as our opponents. You cannot invest fully in your progression as an athlete when you spend your valuable energy on everyone else in the room. They are already investing their own energy in themselves.